butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
