My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
