Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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