something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
