sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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