Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
