a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
