Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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