I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You can't just leave with hair like that
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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