This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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