brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
