the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
