We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
