Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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