Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Green mimosas i think yes
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize