Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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