I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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