Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize