She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
