Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I can't turn off my feet"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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