So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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