i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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