So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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