I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
