i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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