Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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