hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
