that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
