Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
