Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
