It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
