Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
