But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
