I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
