dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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