i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize
