I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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