Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize