he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
