did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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