i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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