P.S. I can't hear my feet
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
