Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
