is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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