So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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