I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
