this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize