so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
