so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
