and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
