went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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