he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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