I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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