i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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