I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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