We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
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I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
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Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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