i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
