Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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