I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
