There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
